Permit me to draw your attention to
something very imperative yet taken with so much levity. Something that is
capable of destroying our homes, our relationships and our society. As humans,
we all desire great and amazing homes and relationships yet we all seem to
ignore one of the prerequisite for such. I am sure you will agree that
communication is an essential instinct of all living things. I am also sure you
are much aware that effective communication is very imperative in our relations
as humans. I
discovered that too many people fail to realize that real communication goes in
two directions; Speaking and Listening (Writing and Reading). To listen closely
and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of
conversation. Therefore, it is safe to conclude
that communication cannot take place until and unless a sent message is
received. Such message must be heard and retained by receivers/listeners and
acted upon. In essence, listening is a dynamic part of communication process. It
implies decoding (i.e. translating of symbols into meaning) and interpreting
the messages correctly in communication process. Its importance to
communication cannot be over-emphasize. The most basic of all human needs is the need
to understand and be understood. Surely the best way to understand people is to
listen to them. That is why it can be very
heartbroken when you attempt to communicate something to someone and it appears
the person is not listening well enough. This is why most relationships are
failing and if the trend continues, more homes/families will be doomed. We must
form the habit of effective listening. Sometimes it is all that we need to be
that great leader, that great and loving husband, that reliable friend etc.
Effective listening is actively
absorbing the information given to you by a speaker, showing that you are
listening and interested and providing feedback to the speaker such that he or
she knows that the message was received. Effective listening shows the speakers
that they have been heard
Sometimes, I wish I could
find an institute that teaches people how to LISTEN. Business people, leaders,
parents, husbands, wives, neighbours, friends etc need to take the art of
listening very serious. Unequivocally, we all desire to be heard hence there is
need for us all to listen. Listening should never be confused with hearing!
While hearing is a biological process that can be scientifically explained,
listening is a psychological manifestation. To listen means to pay close
attention to what is being said. When you listen, you do not only listen to the
'words' but also to the essence of the person speaking. You listen not only for
what someone knows, but for what he or she is. Generative listening is the art
of developing deeper silences in yourself, so you can slow your mind’s hearing
to your ears’ natural speed and hear beneath the words. Listening is a magnetic
and strange thing; a creative force. The friends, relatives, leaders etc who
listen to us are the ones we tend to move closer to. I perfectly agree with the
great Oliver Wendell Holmes that "It is the province of knowledge to speak
and the privilege of wisdom to listen." Unarguably, if speaking is silver,
then listening is gold. Listening commands respect. It saves one from troubles,
fights, quarrels etc. The ears of the leader must constantly ring with the
voices of the people! Many Leaders, Business Managers, Parents, Administrators
etc could have easily saved themselves from many troubles if they had listened
more! Just being available and attentive is a great way to use listening as a
management tool. Some employers in the name of meeting will come in, talk for
minutes/hours, dish out orders and leave believing that they have solved any
problem. If it solves any problem, I tell you it will only be short-term. Many
of them would have achieved greater things if they understood the power of
listening. To a large extent, effective leadership is effective listening.
Listening helps immensely in
our relationships. If you are having trouble making or keeping relationships,
it might just be because you are not a good listener. Listening to others
empowers them and causes them to rely on you when they need a person to talk
to. Many women today suffer silently because they are not being heard which
perhaps explain why women always crave for attention. Show me a person who
talks when you wish him to listen and I will show you a boring person. Listening
ensures confidentiality/trust. It aids learning and reduces conflicts.
Amazingly, almost everyone
sincerely believes that he or she listens effectively. Very few people would
admit that they need to develop their listening skills. Whereas very few of us
listens the way we should. This does not in any way mean that effective
listening is difficult; it is just because we never really consciously
developed the habits that would make us effective listeners. We must make
deliberate efforts to listen more. Listen to your wives/husbands, subordinates,
friends etc. and above all, listen to yourself. But remember, you also have to
talk otherwise it keeps you as more of a mystery to others and you might be
misunderstood. Your ears will never get you into trouble. Have a great day.
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