FORGIVE.......and sets yourself free.

One of my favourite quotes of all time "Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest." is from the Great Indian Spiritual Master and Author Sri Chinmoy. Indeed, one of the best ways to lead a happy life is to always forgive. Forgiveness is one of the greatest virtues to which one should always seek. It is the word that has as much as life-changing potential than any words in the English Language. Imagine if everyone you knew was willing both to apologize and to accept an apology! The willingness to admit that we are all human, and to forgive sincerely, is a sign of your emotional strength and maturity. If it is true that not one of us is perfect, then ignoring to forgive is indeed a conflicting choice. Obviously, the notion of forgiveness is still highly misunderstood by many people. We tend to think that forgiveness is something we need to do for the other person – the person that wronged us or hurt us in some way; therefore it is ‘the other person’ who needs our forgiveness. The fact that forgiveness appear to us as something we need to do for another person has made it (forgiveness) much more harder to achieve; for it becomes more difficult to give such ‘precious gift’ to someone we hold ill-feelings against.

Interestingly, forgiveness is for you. It sets you free from the shackles of the past so you can take the future in advance. To forgive is to free ‘negative’ feelings inside you in order to make space for positive ones. Whether you need to forgive yourself or others, forgiveness is instrumental in healing and moving forward in life. To keep un-forgiveness within you is to keep a toxin in your body, mind and soul. It is a spiritual poison to have to always remember that you hate someone as a result of his/her failures/shortcomings. Bearing a grudge and holding resentments is a terrible burden.  If you find it difficult to forgive someone, the inability to do so controls you. While he/she might have moved on with life or even forgotten about the situation, you will most likely still be stuck in anger, bitterness, revenge etc. Forgiving people, especially when they don’t deserve it sets you free. It releases any power the “other person” has over you. It is the most God-like character a Christian can ever exhibit. Besides, while the other person is blessed to be forgiven, you are also blessed, perhaps even more blessed because you have been able to free yourself.

Really, we all, at a point, have been deeply hurt and disappointed by other people, situations and circumstances. Emotional wounds can be as devastating as physical wounds and they need time and care to begin the healing process. Indeed, forgiveness helps a great deal in the healing process. However difficult we may find it to let go, there is never a wrong time to do the right thing. We must remember that we are subject to the same faults and failings of others; it allows us to keep things in their proper perspective. Forgiveness is the most powerful thing that you can do for your physiology and your spirituality.  Yet, it remains one of the least attractive things to us, largely because our egos rule so unequivocally. To forgive is somehow associated with saying that “it is all right, that we accept the evil deed”. But that is not forgiveness. Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward and refuse to hang onto the hatred that was created by the behaviors that caused the wounds. 

Forgiveness is not necessarily forgetting or undoing what has been done or pretending as if nothing has happened. It is never about justice neither is it about guilt. It is a decision to choose to excuse the mistake or offence of another and live with the consequence thereof. After the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, God offered His forgiveness through Jesus Christ, but not many humans care to receive His offer. Forgiveness is a two way stream among men, you give and you receive. And it is a requirement for ‘answered prayers’ in God’s court room. The first beneficiary of the art of forgiveness is the one who chooses to forgive. He is the one who is said to be the wisest.

Finally, it is imperative to understand that our sense of justice makes forgiveness even more challenging. Righting wrongs is part and parcel of integrity. The feature of “fairness” causes us to pause and demand payment for wrongs done. But the fact is, while 'forgiveness' may not necessarily restore a relationship, it beautifies and frees our lives to move on and make wonderful progress succeeding with our lives. Yes, the best revenge is success but we must never forget that forgiveness facilitates such. This is wisdom we need every day. Starting from today, forgive someone today, someone you are currently holding something against. Also, ask someone you have wronged for forgiveness today. It tells more about your personality than the other person. Remember, forgiveness, as they say, is the best form of knowledge. It takes a strong person to ask for it. It also takes a stronger person to give it. It is indeed the best source of unimaginable peace and happiness Forgiveness is the real form of love. It is not something we need to do once in a while; it must become part of us. After all, like Alexander Pope rightly puts it, "To err is human, to forgive divine. Have a great weekend.