THE MYSTERY CALLED ANGER!

I want to believe we all know what anger is and we all must have felt it at a point: whether as a simple annoyance or as full-fledged rage. Anger is an emotion related to one's psychological interpretation of having been offended, wronged or denied with a tendency to undo that by retaliation, defense, attack etal. It can also be described as a normal emotion that involves a strong uncomfortable and emotional response to a perceived provocation. Anger is indeed a universal emotion. Completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion but when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, with relationships, and in the overall quality of one's life . It can make you feel as though you are at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. Uncontrolled anger can negatively affect your personal or social well-being. It can make you lose money, friendships, relationships and make you do foolish and ridiculous things. It has destroyed and is still destroying many people, relationships, careers etc. According to medical research, the correlation between anger and illness such as insomnia, digestive problems, headache etc is fast becoming a 21st century truism yet many people are ignorant of this. While some can effectively hide their anger, it usually manifests physically through teeth grinding, fist clenching, yelling, raging, swearing/cursing, door-slamming, frowning, fast breathing etc. Indeed, anger is a strong emotion that is accompanied by arousal of the nervous system. It produces effects throughout the body.On a lighter note, there is a saying that “anger is an emotion that makes your mouth work faster than your brain”. How true?

It is imperative to know that there is a difference between feeling angry and acting in your angry feelings. Truth is; everyone feels angry but not everyone vent their spleen due to their feelings of anger. Some even get stuck in their angry thoughts; such that they find it difficult to let go of the situation. If allowed, anger can destroy your soul and body.

The good news about anger is that it can be controlled. While you might not always be able to get rid of, or avoid, the things or people that enrage you, nor change them, you can learn to control your reactions. Oftentimes, anger can feel overwhelming and uncontrollable; it is left to you to do what you can to find a way out of it. Anger is something to be understood and use to your advantage. If you can identify what makes you angry, then you can channel your emotions into positive actions. Anger is essentially a messenger; a very useful one. It is a way your body and mind tell you something is not right. It sends you a message straightaway that something needs to change. Sometimes, it can give you the motivation you need for an action. It can spur you to pursue your dream no matter what stands on your way. I have heard stories of people who have become successful in life simply because of their anger towards failure. I personally know a rich man whose major drive was because he was angry at what poverty did to his family.

Finally, as I mentioned above, anger can be controlled. One of the ways you can control your anger is to talk about it. Try noticing the early warning signs of anger in you and quickly decide how best to handle it. You can slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax", "take it easy" etc. Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply. Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination whenever you are in a tense situation. Also, you can try replacing your thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow". Avoid using abusive or swearing words. Take a break if necessary. Avoid using words like “Never” “Always”. Focus on what you intend to achieve. Remember, everybody gets angry what makes the difference is when you cannot control it.