Maturity

Good morning friends. Today on "Zicolo Today", I am writing about something that came to my mind during an online group discussion yesterday. Have u ever heard someone, referring to someone, said "He is not mature enough"? and wondered what exactly that the person was talking about? If yes, I think u need to read this. MATURITY is a psychological term used to indicate how a person responds to the circumstance or environment in an appropriate manner. Some people only need to talk before you realize that most people do not grow up, they only grow old. Some get marry and have children and call it growing up. Maturity encompasses being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act appropriately, according to the situation and the culture of the society one lives in. Maturity, in psychology, “has little to do with age, but with the ability to react, cope and reason in an appropriate way for a situation.” It also involves ability to talk in an environment in the appropriate manner. Maturity is learned through experiences and the ability to cope with emotional situations. The way a person deals with a crisis and make decisions during such time are good clues about his/her level of maturity. Some school of thoughts believe that older persons are generally more mature, In legal proceedings, people are not considered psychologically mature enough to perform certain tasks (such as driving , consenting to sex , signing a binding contract or making medical decisions) until they have reached a certain age as approved by the law of the land. Signs of maturity include the ability to be comfortable with those that are not similar to you in anyway. The ability to control you anger and settle differences without violence or destruction. As stressful as any situation may be, maturity helps you to resolve them without turning towards anger and potentially destructive behavior. Maturity is patience. It helps us to recognise that the best things in life often take time to come to fruition. It gives us the willingness to be able to pass up immediate pleasure or rewards and realize that sometimes the best solution to a problem is to go for the resolution that gives us long-term gain. It teaches us that we may not get what we want today, but in the long run we will grow our lives in a multitude of ways. Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaints. It teaches us that life will present us with any unpleasant situations. That sometimes we will not only face frustration, but also defeat. Maturity teaches us the essences of humility. That the hardest words to say are; “I am sorry” and “I was wrong”. Yet, these words are growth words as they grow us as a person. Maturity teaches us that everyone has a different view of reality. It teaches us not to gain satisfaction by gloating about an outcome that favours our prediction. The truth is that people will respect us more when they see that we are willing to admit our mistakes, and when we are wise enough to just let things go. Maturity is the ability to make a decision and follow through. So many people have good intentions but they never follow through on them. Maturity means dependability, responsibility and coming through in a crisis. It teaches us the need to know that whenever we say we are going to do something, we must do everything in our power to make it happen; otherwise we must be sure to let the other party know why and explain alternative options. It helps us to get organized in life so that people learn that they can depend on us. Maturity is the art of living in peace. Knowing that there are some things in life we simply cannot change. Maturity brings a generosity of spirit and often yields a greater self-mastery of emotions and attitudes along with a deeper appreciation for the complexity of life. With maturity, we can have deep, meaningful connections with people. And even when they let you down (be sure they will), it doesn't destroy you anymore! As we go through our journey in life, I plead with us to consciously make efforts to develop into maturity. I leave you with the words of Gordon Hinckley; ”the willingness to forgive is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity. It is one of the great virtues to which we all should aspire. Imagine a world filled with individuals willing both to apologize and to accept an apology. Is there any problem that could not be solved among people who possessed the humility and largeness of spirit and soul to do either -- or both -- when needed?” Just give this a deep thought my friends. Have a great weekend.

Selfishness

It's Democracy Day in Nigeria and I feel obliged to write about an issue that has eaten deep into us as a people. I have closely observed events in our country for the past years, including the many avoidable incidents that have claimed lives of many innocents people, the only thing I can say is that a big problem in our society is SELFISHNESS. If only our leaders and citizens, both rich and poor,have been a bit less selfish! Selfishness involves caring supremely or unduly for one's self; regarding one's own comfort, advantage, etc., in disregard or at the expense of those of others. It also include judging things according to one's own private appetites and passions. Selfish people are weak people and are haunted by the fear of loss of control, inadequacy, insecurity etc. They feel that there might not be enough for them if they give out their time, resources etc, to help others in need. I often wonder how some people manage to feel so wrapped up in their own pleasure, become so uninterested in their immediate environment and feel unconcerned in a world so full of suffering when there is so much we can do to help! However, there are important decisions that you make about your life that many people mistakenly view as being selfish. These decisions usually have huge impact on your happiness. they include the decision to live your life how you want, on your own standards and convictions. So many people live their lives according to other people's standards and wishes. As a result, they live unhappy and unsatisfying lives. Choosing to live how you want is not in anyway selfish as long as it obeys the 4-WAY TEST, it only means you are a courageous and self-confident individual. Selfish people find it hard to develop and keep fulfilling friendships and relationships. People will not associate with you for long if you repeatedly show through your words and actions that you only care about yourself. Remember, the world is not for you alone! The happiest people are those who specialise in making others happy. I encourage you to ensure you put smiles on the face of someone today and I assure you that you will end up feeling happier. Have a selfless Celebration fellow citizens. God bless The Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Motivation

Experience has taught me that why we do something will, more than often, ultimately determine what we do. Action flows from intention(s). For this reason, it is imperative for us all to, regularly, evaluate our motivations. Have you ever asked yourself why you do what you do? Motivations are processes that elicit, control and sustain certain behaviors that ultimately lead to the attainment of goals. Motivation could also be a reward (tangible or intangible) that is presented after the occurrence of an action (e.g. attainment of goals) with the intent to cause the behavior to occur again. Self-motivations are essential in order to reach your goals. In fact it is one of the important and driving factors for you to reach your goals in life. There is always constant need to draw from your well of motivation. Our motives have as much to do with accomplishing our mission as do our gifts, knowledge and talents. Motivation could be internal, external, positive and negative but above all you must always be internally motivated. Because motivation is situational, you must be able to keep your spirit high no matter how discouraging a situation is. That’s the only way to get the power you need to overcome difficulties. Those who get discouraged in difficult times are certain to lose even before the battle is over. Surprisingly, motivation is not always be positive. Sometimes fear, hatred, revenge etc can be a very effective motivating factor. I always encourage people to examine and analyze their motivation. You must ask yourself what your motivations are. You must ensure that, above all, you do everything to motivate yourself irrespective of any circumstance/situation you find yourself. Remember the words of Andrew Carnegie; "People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents". Don’t forget to share this with someone who might need it more than you.

Celebrate the Children

Good Morning Dear Readers. I welcome you again to “Zicolo Today”. It’s a beautiful Monday morning here in Nigeria and it’s the 27th of May. It is a day that is recognized to honor Children. It is the Children’s Day Celebration. Children’s Day Celebration “….was first proclaimed by the World Conference for the Well-being of Children in 1925 and then established universally in 1954 to protect children working long hours in dangerous circumstances and allow all children access to an education” (Wikipedia). Truth is, Children are adorable. They are divine gifts from the Almighty God. They smile when they receive love and admiration, they cry when it is their first day at school away from their parents, they giggle when they mingle with their buddies, and they signify nothing but the pure and faithful love. They are indeed true symbol of innocence and love. Childhood memories are often the sweetest of all. They are usually savored for a lifetime. Children's day celebration is fun for the little ones and it is important for the parents too. The true essence of the Children's Day Celebration is to understand the significance of childhood in our lives. Childhood is the age span ranging from birth to adolescence. It is the time for children to be in school and at play, to grow strong and in confidence with the love and encouragement of their family and an extended community of caring adults. Ironically, in this age many children live in fear, hunger, abuse, exploitation, child-labour etc. Every parent must understand the importance of the children in our society/future. Parents should always be sensitive to the little desires of their little angels. Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for a greater future hence we all must join hands together to ensure they are well prepared for future challenges. The values and disciplines learned as a child are responsible for the kind of adulthood one has. Thus childhood is special and should be celebrated. Children's Day is to remind all young and adults about children's right to enjoy their childhood without any boundaries and to be educated adult in the future. As parents we should not let this day pass as other ordinary day. We all have a responsibility to make this day special for our children. Sincerely, I still wonder why Children’s Day is not a public holiday in this country! In a country where many parents spend little or no time with their, I am of the opinion that observing today as a public holiday would make a lot of difference. Such will definitely afford the Children a rare opportunity to spend time with their (absentees’) parents. Imagine a child, whose parents often leave home for work every 5am, suddenly wakes to the smiles and embrace of his/her parents at the discovery that the day has been specially separated for celebrating children. Such a child will always have the feeling that he/she is part of the society. It should be a day that parents should be able to take their child to visit an NGO or Children's Home. It should be a day that parents can imbibe some precious values in the child through some generous acts. The child can give away some of his/her belongings to a less-privilege child. Such a child will get to know the real significance of this day. Finally, there is no gain-saying in the fact that we all need to rise to the occasion and make this day a truly special day for our children. A day that all children will always look forward to celebrating every 27th of May. I am aware we all have one excuse or the other. I would rather plead that we save it for another day and try as much as we can to make today special for at least a child (either your biological child or not). I wish all the Children a happy celebration. Have a great day. 

The Mind

Good morning friends. Ever wondered where brilliant ideas come from? How the world’s most prolific artists, business people, thinkers and inventors get the inspiration for their ideas, creations and achievements? Do you really think it was their upbringing? Would it be fair to just attribute it to luck? Were they just blessed with a gift most of us can only dream of? Or is there something else at work in them? Or perhaps you are one of the people who have concluded that they are not just human! I dare tell you that none of the above assumptions are correct. They are as human as you and I. What often makes the difference is the mind (and perhaps their exposure). The MIND is indeed a very powerful and mysterious tool! Consciously or otherwise, the mind plays an important role in achieving every kind of success, in every creation, invention and goal. Believe it or not, at almost every interval, your mind makes projections to you (either positive or negative) hence you must become aware of the mind and the projections it makes. More self-awareness will result in being aware of yourself as separate from your mind that is generating thoughts and imaginations which ultimately often lead to action(s). We all strive daily to achieve good health, wealth and happiness in our lives. I dare to tell you that you can have them all by using the power of your mind! Success and failure both start and end in the mind. The book ‘Think And Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill is perhaps one of the most influential books of ALL time (I advise you get and read it if you haven’t). The book is packed with techniques and instructions on how to develop your mind and create a mindset that can achieve success beyond your wildest dreams. As incredible as it might sound, happiness and unhappiness are both products of the mind. It doesn't absolutely have everything to do with what you have, who you are nor what you are. Two people of equal status, position, etc may not be equally happy. Numerous studies indicate that wealthy people are not much happier than the middle class. Once a person’s basic needs are met there is very little change in a person’s happiness as they become wealthier. What make the difference are the fears, self-judgments, criticisms, knowledge and beliefs that make up their minds. These elements of a person’s mind may not change because of a change in their wealth. Never make the mistake of accommodating negative projections in your mind. Truth is, they will constantly come. Take charge of your mind and use it effectively to your create and do the seemingly impossible. Always remember “you must weed your mind as you would weed your garden". Have a creative day.

Be Prepared

Good morning. I welcome you to “Zicolo Today”. It’s a bit cold in the city of Lagos this morning ‘cos it rained last night and I hope it is not out of hand at your location. I used to be a member of “The Boys Scout” and I loved the motto; "BE PREPARED". It taught me the essence of preparation. Truth be told, we cannot underestimate the power of preparation in whatever we do in life. Apart from planning which I wrote about yesterday, it is also very imperative that we are always prepared for whatever lies ahead. To be prepared is half the victory and as Henry Ford rightly said; "the best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today". Before everything else, getting prepared is the secret to success. Many have failed in life because they prefer to sit back and wait for opportunities but I dare tell such people that preparation is key. Believe it or not, there are always opportunities around us just that it is only those who are prepared who can recognize and take advantage of such. Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The will to win is worthless if you do not have the will to prepare. The commander must decide how he will fight the battle before even getting to the battle field. Getting prepared takes concerted efforts on a regular basis. It takes deliberate action and sacrifice. You can ask the Footballer, the Athlete etc and they will tell you what preparation means to them. Each activity you engage in and every effort you make towards preparing for anything increases your level of peace, confidence and assurance substantially. How you prepare towards your life, your purpose and your success essentially determines how successful you are. Unfortunately, some don't even prepare at all. They just “go with the flow”.
To achieve what you want, hope, desire, and dream about you need to PREPARE yourself to attract your goals. Preparation is very critical to your success. It helps you get the results you want faster than “going with the flow”. Find ways to better prepare your life, business, career and even pleasure so you are able to fully enjoy the rewards. You must find a way to be disciplined and follow a pro-active routine or schedule. The more you postpone preparation and down play its importance, the more you are held back and powerless. I am quite sure you can even remember a time when you did prepare and saw its power. Preparation helps in the battle. Remember, a winning effort begins with preparation. Have a great day.

Planning.

It’s a beautiful Wednesday morning. It is my first piece on “Zicolo Today” and as I sit here and think about what to write, one thing that keeps coming to my mind is to work with a plan. An effective plan that keeps makes you look forward to reading this page every morning. One of the things we tend to overlook in our quest for success in life is PLANNING. Planning is a process which involves the determination of future course of action(s). It also involves the skill of anticipating, influencing and controlling the nature and direction of change. Planning is essential to whatever you want to accomplish in life.... personal, business, spiritual, academic etc. Planning gives you a clear sense of direction. It strengthens your confidence in understanding where you are headed. It teaches you how best you can move along a chosen path and when to take what measures to achieve a set goal. Planning also provides you with an opportunity to examine and analyze alternative courses of action with a better understanding of their likely consequences and proceed cautiously to choose the most feasible and favorable course of action. Other things that planning does for you is that it helps you to 
reduce uncertainties and effectively allocate resources; it encourages you to look beyond your immediate concerns. It helps you to gain control over the elements of change. Indeed, planning is a prime action that provides basis for other actions. The truth is that failures don’t plan to fail; they simply just fail to plan. Have you ever met anyone who planned to fail? Someone who wakes up in the morning and says, “Yea, I really want to fail in life. I want to end up totally miserable. I want to be broke forever and live in abject poverty. I want to suffer from a dreaded disease. Let me plan how to do these...." It sounds to funny but certainly the answer is NO. No one plans to fail! However, there are many who obviously have failed to plan. If God didn’t want us to plan, then he wouldn’t have given us such a phenomenal brain that can imagine the future. Remarkably, the Bible also says “Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty”. (Proverbs 21:5 NLT). Remember the words of Antoine deSaint-Exupery “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” Think and plan towards your goals, with persistent and consistent, you will achieve them. Have a great day. Don’t forget to tell your friends and family about this blog-page. See you tomorrow.