Naturally,
everyone desires to live happy life and be accepted in the society. However,
one of the things that stand against our quest for happiness and acceptance is
rejection. It seems almost everyone is affected by rejection to some degree. Believe
it or not, we will all get rejected at one time or the other in life hence it is
vital to understand how it works, and how to apply the cure. Rejection can
be defined as a refusal to accept, submit to, believe, or make use of someone
or something. It could also be a refusal to consider or grant something.
Sometimes it could mean to refuse to recognize or give affection to a person.
Rejection can be either ACTIVE; by bullying, teasing, ridiculing or PASSIVE; by
ignoring a person, or giving the "silent treatment" signal. Either
interpersonal, peer, career, social or romantic rejection, rejection is a
bitter thing especially when it comes from those we expect more from! According
to a research by Maslow, all humans, even introverts, need to be able to give
and receive affection to be psychologically healthy. No one wants to feel
rejected, we all need a measure of sense of belonging.
Although
humans are social beings, some level of rejection is an inevitable part of life.
However, it can become a problem when it is prolonged or consistent, when the
relationship is important, after ample efforts or when the individual is highly
sensitive to rejection. Rejection by an entire group of people can have
especially negative effects, particularly when it results in social isolation.
Rejection attacks the very person that we are.
It destroys our self-esteem, and
attacks who we are and our purpose in life. This is why it has the capacity to
destroy a person's life. It can lead to a number of adverse psychological
consequences such as loneliness, low self-esteem, insecurity, anger,
aggression, and of course depression. As someone once teased, rejection seems
to involve many parts of the body; “it is usually like a slap in the face… a
kick in the teeth……a cold shoulder…..and a thumbs down”. When you have been
rejected, it becomes very easy to give up on yourself…to feel worthless as it
always point to some flaws, faults or failing. This sort of explain why it is
always difficult to accept.
Learning
how to respond positively turns rejection into a lesson learned, insight gained
and experience in being the person in control of the one thing that no one can
take away from you... Choice... you can always choose your response or attitude
to rejection. Rejection does not mean that you must not try again as so many
people tend to see it as the last nail in the coffin. No, you do not have to
take rejection as the final say in the situation. You have to realize that
rejection is most of the time the result of the opinion of someone else. If you
have to reconsider your attitude, do so. If you have to adjust your way of
reacting, do so. But never allow rejection to break down your will to succeed.
Rejection is a part of life. Setbacks are just launch pads for future success.
The key to dealing with rejection is knowing how to cope by reacting with the
right attitude. Approaching rejection with the right attitude allows us to
manage it in healthy ways and can help us come out a better person.
Rejections do not always have to be viewed negatively, oftentimes they
are the fuel that drive us to succeed. Sometimes too, they are the constructive
criticism needed for us to improve and be better. I love the way a certain
businessman puts it; "the 'yes's' build your business while the 'no's’
build you". Embrace rejection as a blessing to improve you, your
self-leadership and your success. Rejection is often a test of your resolve to
succeed.
Rejection
hurts, but it is part of life. Move on. While you still have your dignity.
Contrary to how terrible rejection feels, rejection is an integral aspect of
success as it is capable of bringing the best out of you, if properly handled.
Remember the proverbial "rejected stone". Whether your business
proposal, demo tape, or attempt at securing a date is declined. Don't despair.
rejection is temporary, like other things we experience on the journey to
success. The truth is that: sometimes, it’s your fear of rejection that’s
getting you rejected. Face your fears, approach everything with a positive mind
and never be afraid to ask for anything when you need it. Do so with a positive
mind and you will be amazed at how many yes's you will get. Have a great day.
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