PERSEVERANCE........unleashing your inner strength.

Perseverance is a virtue you can hardly find among the youths of this generation. Whereas it is one of the qualities anyone who must succeed at any endeavor must possess. Perseverance is a determination and a continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failures or oppositions. It is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. It is a decision to stay committed to a vision and mission – the task at hand – regardless of what comes against you and never resigning yourself to your fears. It involves coming to a decision never to give up. Never to throw in the towel on your goals and dreams. Perseverance is a process. Not just a process for the exercise but for the rewards. It goes beyond being stubborn to prove a point or to stand your ground on an issue. Perseverance begins with the right attitude – an attitude of tenacity and the good news is that it is a trait that can be cultivated. Unfortunately, not many people today are willing to go through any difficulties in life and I think some of our religious leaders are not helping in this regard as quite a number of them have failed to educate their followers that success involves a process and it not just something you stumble on. Truly, opportunity without persistence will be lost. Perseverance empowers your ability to see obstacle as an opportunity to succeed through the lessons learnt. It reminds you that you are a work in process and encourages you to pursue excellence, instead of perfection. Perseverance empowers your ability to look for alternative solutions. It reflects your being and not your doing. It empowers your ability to see circumstances in a different light. It reminds you to celebrate your small gains/successes and to fight on for more.

I do not know what your vision is but I want to encourage you to let it be your guiding light as you persevere through the less than desirable moments in life. A dream doesn't become reality through magic. It takes sweat, determination and hard work which must be endured. Know that opportunities without persistence will be lost. Understand the relationship between perseverance and potential. If you have a habit of giving up, you need to overcome it to be successful.

Never let discouraging moments break you and don’t let anyone tell you that they won’t come. Instead, chose to be resilient and focus on your vision. Be determined to rise above any situation and accomplish even the loftiest goals. Finally, always bear in mind that if you desire to be successful and maximize your talent, you need to be consistent and persistent. Just as the saying also goes “talent without perseverance never comes to full fruition.” Have a great day.

EMPOWERMENT.....the mark of true leaders.

One of the problems in our society is that majority of our leaders (at all level) have not been able to empower their subjects to an extent that can guarantee a replica of their “achievements” whenever they are unavailable. The ability to empower others and see the greatness in them is what will eventually set apart great leaders from the ordinary ones. True leaders empower others because they recognize and believe in their potential. They recognize the potentials and then incites personal improvements in them. As a leader, you must recognize that time is short and you cannot always stand in front to lead forever. If we truly want the next generation to evolve better than ours, then we must empower them. Remember the saying; “if you want to leave behind a memory help yourself succeed, but if you want to leave behind a legacy then help others succeed." An empowered organization is one in which individuals have the knowledge, skill, desire, and opportunity to personally succeed in a way that leads to collective organizational success. To empower or be empowered involves someone being equipped with needed knowledge, skills, and/or the delegated authority or power to act. When you are empowered, you are given the go signal to do what must be done. You are also given the trust and the confidence to work out the finer things, to make procedures better, and to devise means to get things done. Though empowerment is not absolute, being empowered is a clear chance or opportunity to move forward, to be able to reach that certain goal.

One other thing that empowerment does is to help build a team that achieve more in little time bearing in mind that one of us cannot do as much as all of us. Sincerely, the best way to build a team is to empower them and the best way to empower them is to trust and believe them. Believing and trusting your subjects go a long way in helping them succeed. It is always a great feeling when you have a full confidence that your leader believes in you and trusts you to deliver the best of you. Yes I agree it is wonderful when the people believe in the leader, but I feel it is more wonderful when a leader believe in the people. That is what empowerment is all about. The very fact of believing is someone is an empowering gesture and must be communicated to them so that they know you do believe in them. It gives them the power to go forward and deliver on our expectations of them. We must learn to trust our followers so as to bring out the power within them that will make them great. If you do not trust them, it will be hard for them to trust themselves, if they do not have confidence in themselves, they will always be afraid to act and take risks.
If you empower them, they will empower and trust themselves and that trust will plant a seed of hope in their hearts. It will help them to realize that they are able and can achieve whatever they set out to do. They will know that they might commit mistakes some times, and that it’s all part of the process, they will know that mistakes will make them stronger and wiser while your guidance and love will serve as their inspiration to move on and try again.

Apart from empowering our followers as leaders, there is also need for us all to ensure that, as much as we can, we try our best to do same for others. One of the best things we can do for others that are trying and struggling is to come alongside them and empower them. Believing and trusting in others will empower them to move ahead and up the hills of life. Sometimes we wonder why people perhaps refuse or cannot simply get a better qualification, get a better job or do something better with their lives without even realizing that not everyone can or has the ability, finances etc to go do. It is our responsibility to empower them to do so and achieve that which we are convinced they are capable of. Empowering such people is empowering their future. We are not here to judge but to serve and make our world better.

Indeed, empowerment is a service, a service that will inspire and encourage people to do the best they can according to their abilities. It is about giving someone the power (tools, money, time, training, support etc) to actually do what is necessary themselves and make the choice of the responsibility for themselves. A good leader while empowering people must not do everything alone if there are others beside him. He must teach them to do things by and for themselves. Empowerment is about being given the go ahead with trust, belief and, as may be required, resources to take on something for which you will be responsible. Often when you are empowered it is because you have the endorsement and confidence of those whom you are serving to deliver on a specific task, job or objective. This is what make the difference between empowerment and encouragement. For example, if you encourage your daughter to make the bed, the result will be that she may or may not make the bed. But when you empower her to lay the bed by giving her the tools, the training and means to complete the task, and make her understanding why the bed needs to be laid, then you are empowering her to choose for herself to make the decision to be responsible for the bed. The result then will be that the bed just magically get made every day with you not having to worry about it anymore.

According to researches, one of the reasons why leaders and people generally refuse to and are often afraid of empowering their subjects is because they are suffering from insecurity. Insecure people cannot empower anyone because they fear that the success of others will affect their own success. Insecure people are often selfish and that is why they are never successful in the true definition of success. They only think of themselves and go through life with a continuous safety nets on their head. Secured people do not only empower other people, they are also genuinely interested in other's success. People who fail to empower others end up in life as a failure. Success is your ability to create someone better than you. 

Ultimately, power/success needs to be passed on and failure to empower others simply means that there won’t be anyone to build on what you have built afterwards hence the imminent collapse of whatever you might have built. When we become empowered we need to empower others. When you believe and trust in others and put some wins under their belt then you are empowering them to deliver more. Empowerment is a network - as people get you empowered, you must, in the same way empower others. You must inspire other to become the best they can be too. You can be the one who makes today different for someone else and get him/her flying. Help someone overcome a difficult challenge and be the one that sees the tree in a seed. Understand that your life (skills, knowledge, experience etc.) is not for you alone, they must be used to empower others. You must serve, honor, respect, value, trust and love them. Also, nothing is as empowering as positive words. It energizes one to do more, maximize potential and excel. Work towards improving yourself every day and then pass it along and help someone else. Challenge yourself to build, grow and become the best. Let’s keep growing my friends. I believe this generation can do a lot more in this aspect. But bear in mind, only those who are able to empower others will eventually emerge as true leaders. I love you all.

OPTIMISM.....Seeing the light at the end of the Tunnel

Thomas alva Edison is a well known inventor that is known for his positive attitude towards life and the role his belief and optimism played in his inventions. Edison was in the process of inventing his well-known invention (the incandescent lamp).The headache in this process is to find a suitable material that glows on heating. He was trying a lot of combinations to suite his need but in vain (it is a pity tungsten was not popular in those days). Thomas was not going to give up even though his assistant was not as optimistic as he was. One fine day he (his assistant) asked Edison with total loss of hope what on earth he was trying to do and how he does intend to find the right substance in this way. Edison replied “By checking these hundreds of compounds, I have eliminated the substances that does not glow. So I would soon be able to find the right substance in this way”. Of course, he does not mean what he literally said but I bet you this is an optimistic way of looking at things. Optimism is the only way of converting failure to success. It is very essential to achievement. It is a solid foundation of courage and true progress. Viewing the glass as half-full rather than half-empty definitely does more than increase happiness. Believe me, Optimists have better mental and physical health – and brighter future than the pessimists.

Too many people spend too much time every day thinking of past hurts. Always thinking about past negative events, disappointments, failures etc. There is need for us to learn how to use our minds to create scenes of positive and pleasing emotions. I agree we are not responsible for what happens out there or what others do or think but we are surely responsible for how we choose to respond. We must resist the temptation to join the naysayers. That should be our attitude. The responsibility is ours to understand that the past does not equal the future. Just because you have experienced pain, disappointment or failure in the past does not guarantee a repeat of such. Remember, not all that starts badly will end badly. Do not make a bad start turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy for a bad ending. Let go of the assumption that the world is against you or that you were born with a gray cloud over your head. It is an assumption that has no basis in reasoning nor science. While being skeptical can be a healthy way to avoid getting taken advantage of, being pessimistic – that is, always assuming the worst- can have major negative consequences on your life. Unlike the pessimists, optimists always look out for the light at the end of the Tunnel. Seeing only the negative aspects of a situation can cause you to miss opportunities, neglect problems that need to be solved, and fail to take action that would otherwise have improved your relationships or quality of life. Research have also shown that pessimists are more likely to develop chronic illnesses later on in life than optimists.

Sometimes, unconsciously, we pick up a flair for pessimism from a parent who made negative assumptions about the world and virtually about everything. Either way, the sooner you begin to attribute your pessimism to a unique set of circumstances rather than the state of the world itself, the easier it will be to change your perspective. It is clearly a wrong perspective that this part of the world must strongly resist. See yourself as a cause rather than an effect. You don't have to be a product or a victim of your circumstances. Stop thinking about what is happening to you and start thinking about what you can make happen. If you are not happy with the way your life is now, make up your mind to change it and be disciplined enough to follow through. Set goals for yourself and move on. Use your past negative experiences to build character and make better decisions. Life involves taking many risks every day and all of them may not end positively. That is what defines risk. But the flip side is that some actions will lead to good results and surely it is better to have a mixed bag than to have nothing at all! Ideally, the good stuff will outweigh the bad but you will never reach that point unless you put yourself out there and hope for the best. Remember that life is short and every minute counts. Pessimism breeds indecision which often results to a waste of time and time is a limited resource.

Finally, be a balanced optimist. Nobody is suggesting that you become unrealistic, pretending that nothing bad can or will ever happen. Doing so can lead to poor decisions and invite people to take advantage of you. Instead, be a rational optimist who takes the good with the bad, in hopes of the good ultimately outweighing the bad and with the understanding that being pessimistic about everything accomplishes nothing.

Prepare for the worst but hope for the best - the former makes you sensible, and the latter makes you an optimist. Have the "anything is possible" mentality. Remember, your circumstances do not create you, rather you create your circumstances. You can control your attitude towards life. Live your life with a mindset that you always have a choice and choose to live your positive side of life.

posted from Bloggeroid

ENTHUSIASM...Ignite the Greatness in YOU.

In the journey of life, there are days when everything seems perfect. A day when you are able to get everything done perfectly, everything seems great and you feel on top of the world. In such days, you are on a high spirit and enthusiastic about life and you feel like anything is possible. What a wonderful feeling it always is! But then another day comes when it seems nothing around you is working and you feel like nothing is worth being enthusiastic and excited about. You just feel like life should just end immediately. This piece seeks to provide an insight on how best to deal with such days and get the best out of such situations.

Enthusiasm can be described as a great feeling of excitement for or an interest in a subject or cause. It involves zeal, eagerness, passion and devotion. The late Ralph Waldo Emerson said of enthusiasm as “….one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm”. With enthusiasm, you can journey through mountains. It is an incredibly powerful tool to create momentum. It can be used to combat fear and nervousness and it can also help create energy and willpower. Being enthusiastic also creates an overall feeling of happiness and well-being.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where being enthusiastic is neither encouraged nor valued. The media is constantly turning into a messenger of tragedy, pessimism and fear. The people around us seem to be more on the end of cynicism and sarcasm than enthusiasm and this behavior is gradually becoming a part of us. With a generally apathetic and pessimistic society, we naturally adapt to these kind of attitude, oftentimes without realizing it. In your day to day life, so many events come to put down your enthusiasm, you must never give it up. Understand that what does matter is how you see the world. You must always focus on the positive side of every situation/event. Believe it or not, if you chose to see things as boring, uninspiring and lifeless then your brain will find all the evidences you need to support your believe. On the other side, if you chose to see things as exciting, inspiring and interesting, you brain will also find evidence to support it. This explains why one person will see losing a job as an opportunity and a blessing in disguise while another person will see losing the same job as the end of the world. It largely depends on how you chose to view things. Don't just sit there and behave as though the problem of the whole world is on you. Become excited about life, about the future and ignite the passion in you. You must develop a positive psychology. Focus your mind on the things in your life that bring energy rather than the things that tend to drain it. Sometimes it is good to write down all the good things in your life that you feel you have to be grateful for; your qualities/skills, achievements, the beautiful people in your life, your opportunities etc. Write them down and read them out aloud with a thankful heart. It helps you to stay positive, energized and more enthusiastic about your world/future. There will always be reasons to make you happy. Don’t be angry about the past nor be anxious about the future to the extent that it deprives you of the excitement of the moment and the energy to take grasp your future.

However, enthusiasm is like any other skill. It rarely comes naturally; it is usually the result of conscious efforts of learning and practicing. Genuine enthusiasm can only be sustained about something you are truly passionate about.

Don’t spend your time pursuing things that you aren’t passionate about. If you aren’t passionate about something, try to minimize or remove the time it is taking from your life. If you look at really successful people, majority of them are individuals that have excelled in something they are very passionate about. Passion provides the fuel and without it, there can be no fire of enthusiasm. You must make deliberate decision/effort to be enthusiastic about life. Remember, by being enthusiastic you are not only reaping the benefits therein, you are also inspiring others. I leave U with the word of H. W. Arnold; "Let a man lose everything else in the world but his enthusiasm and he will come through again to success." Have a great weekend. Don’t forget to share this blog with friends and as well submit your mails to receive every post in your mail.

Dealing with REJECTIONS..........Handling the Noes.

Naturally, everyone desires to live happy life and be accepted in the society. However, one of the things that stand against our quest for happiness and acceptance is rejection. It seems almost everyone is affected by rejection to some degree. Believe it or not, we will all get rejected at one time or the other in life hence it is vital to understand how it works, and how to apply the cure. Rejection can be defined as a refusal to accept, submit to, believe, or make use of someone or something. It could also be a refusal to consider or grant something. Sometimes it could mean to refuse to recognize or give affection to a person. Rejection can be either ACTIVE; by bullying, teasing, ridiculing or PASSIVE; by ignoring a person, or giving the "silent treatment" signal. Either interpersonal, peer, career, social or romantic rejection, rejection is a bitter thing especially when it comes from those we expect more from! According to a research by Maslow, all humans, even introverts, need to be able to give and receive affection to be psychologically healthy. No one wants to feel rejected, we all need a measure of sense of belonging.

Although humans are social beings, some level of rejection is an inevitable part of life. However, it can become a problem when it is prolonged or consistent, when the relationship is important, after ample efforts or when the individual is highly sensitive to rejection. Rejection by an entire group of people can have especially negative effects, particularly when it results in social isolation. Rejection attacks the very person that we are.

It destroys our self-esteem, and attacks who we are and our purpose in life. This is why it has the capacity to destroy a person's life.  It can lead to a number of adverse psychological consequences such as loneliness, low self-esteem, insecurity, anger, aggression, and of course depression. As someone once teased, rejection seems to involve many parts of the body; “it is usually like a slap in the face… a kick in the teeth……a cold shoulder…..and a thumbs down”. When you have been rejected, it becomes very easy to give up on yourself…to feel worthless as it always point to some flaws, faults or failing. This sort of explain why it is always difficult to accept.

Learning how to respond positively turns rejection into a lesson learned, insight gained and experience in being the person in control of the one thing that no one can take away from you... Choice... you can always choose your response or attitude to rejection. Rejection does not mean that you must not try again as so many people tend to see it as the last nail in the coffin. No, you do not have to take rejection as the final say in the situation. You have to realize that rejection is most of the time the result of the opinion of someone else. If you have to reconsider your attitude, do so. If you have to adjust your way of reacting, do so. But never allow rejection to break down your will to succeed. Rejection is a part of life. Setbacks are just launch pads for future success. The key to dealing with rejection is knowing how to cope by reacting with the right attitude. Approaching rejection with the right attitude allows us to manage it in healthy ways and can help us come out a better person.  Rejections do not always have to be viewed negatively, oftentimes they are the fuel that drive us to succeed. Sometimes too, they are the constructive criticism needed for us to improve and be better. I love the way a certain businessman puts it; "the 'yes's' build your business while the 'no's’ build you". Embrace rejection as a blessing to improve you, your self-leadership and your success. Rejection is often a test of your resolve to succeed.

Rejection hurts, but it is part of life. Move on. While you still have your dignity. Contrary to how terrible rejection feels, rejection is an integral aspect of success as it is capable of bringing the best out of you, if properly handled. Remember the proverbial "rejected stone". Whether your business proposal, demo tape, or attempt at securing a date is declined. Don't despair. rejection is temporary, like other things we experience on the journey to success. The truth is that: sometimes, it’s your fear of rejection that’s getting you rejected. Face your fears, approach everything with a positive mind and never be afraid to ask for anything when you need it. Do so with a positive mind and you will be amazed at how many yes's you will get. Have a great day.

THE IDENTITY QUESTION.....finding the answer.

I love the story of the Eagle and Chickens. An eaglet who fell off his nest and was found by a farmer who brought him into a chicken coop where he grew up thinking he was a chicken. He scratched the ground all day looking for worms same way a Chicken does. All he knew was the farm and his chicken friends. Being chickens, the chickens raised the eagle to be a chicken (at least to think he was a chicken). The eagle loved his home and family but it seemed his spirit cried out for more. One day, the eagle looked to the sky above and noticed a group of mighty eagles soaring. ”Oh,” the eagle cried, “I wish I could soar like those birds.” The chickens roared with laughter, “You cannot soar like those. You are a chicken and chickens do not soar.” The eagle continued staring at his real family up above, dreaming that he could be like them. Each time the eagle talked about his dreams of flying, he was told it couldn't be done. One day a man saw this beautiful bald eagle in the chicken coop. He decided to take him up the mountain. He held the eagle up to the wind. The eagle looked at the other eagles flying in the sky. He stretched out his wings and flew into the sky. 

Indeed, the greatest discovery in life is knowing who you are! Have you ever asked yourself questions like; "WHO AM I", "WHY AM I HERE" etc?. It is very imperative that everyone is able to answer these questions otherwise abuse of purpose or identity crisis is inevitable. Unless you know who you are, you will always be vulnerable to what people say. In my opening story, It is significant to note that even though the Eagle is the king of the air, the Eagle could not fly simply because he did not know who he was and because of what he was constantly being told. Identity discovery leads to discovery of purpose. If you do not know why a product was made, there is high possibility that you will use that product for an entirely different purpose other than the purpose for which it was made. That is gross abuse of purpose and that product will certainly not serve the purpose for which it was made. Same with humans.  If you have discovered who you are, then you will know your purpose in life; where you want to go, what you want to be and what you want to do. The importance of analysing your true identity (who am I, what is my  mission etal) prior to setting a goal cannot be underestimated. A lack of identity often results in a lack of direction in goal-setting. Who you are is much more important than what you do! Once you identify who you are, you can then identify what you want to do (with a full consciousness of what you can do), where you want to go, what you want to be and how those things can be achieved. I love the way American Author; Leo Buscaglia puts it; “A wonderful realization will be the day you realize that you are unique in all of the world. The world is an incredible, unfulfilled tapestry, and only you can fulfill that tiny space that is yours.” 

You must know that you are a unique being in every way and must embrace your individuality. When you do, your gifts and talents become energized. Then your authentic self will be permitted to excel. When you conform in order to fit in, be accepted, and avoid rejection, you shut down and give your power away. As you learn to practice self-acceptance and honor our differences, you feel safe to be your true self. You must also learn to always identify with your identity/individuality. You must be true to yourself and project same. Never think, act and behave like someone else. You must realise that you are unique and your purpose in life is different. God (some would rather say nature instead of God) has a purpose for you which can only be accomplished by knowing who you are. You must identify with the purpose to the extent that it will be the first thing that comes to mind once people see you. Remember, only when you truly know yourself and fully understand your purpose can you successfully share it with others.

In conclusion, you all wish to be seen for who you actually are but the question is; who are you?. In order for this to happen, you must first take the time to know, honor, accept, and celebrate what makes you different from others. When someone recognizes and acknowledges your true essence, you will certainly feel seen and known on a deeper level. By discovering and celebrating what makes you different, you will discover your unique and special gifts. This discovery will lead you to living your truth. You must find our if you are an Eagle. If you are an Eagle, you have no business scratching the ground for worms. Fly high in the sky and stop acting like a Chicken. If you also have discovered that you are a Chicken, don't even try to be like the Eagle and fly because you wont be able to do it better than the Eagle. Rather, be the best Chicken. I love you.